This is for me

Nesting. We do it with all our children, no matter how they come to us. I think that there is a physiological purpose in nesting. Not only is it preparing the home for a new arrival, but it is also preparing the parents' hearts for what is to come.

This past week I have inventoried our supply of baby clothes, hypothesized about sizes and researched travel stuff. Soon we will move Matea into a big bed so that we can set the crib up in our bedroom for A.

Our agency recommends making a family book to send to our child so that he can see pictures of his family, home, pets, etc. I like this idea, but really? Our little guy is so young, and I'm not into doing unnecesary projects. But then I began to think. What if, in some supernatural way, little A is able to zero in on those faces and draws some comfort from that? What if, as I've been praying, this is a way that his heart could begin to bond with us, even at such a young age?

What if this little book is not just for him, but also so his nannies can picture the faces that are loving him, praying for him, hoping for him from across the world? They care about him, and surely it would be a comfort for them to see his future family.

But then, what if this is not just about A, and not about his nannies, but what is about me exercising my mother instincts. Carefully choosing the faces of each of us that I want A to see, thinking about him with each of his siblings and imagining what our next family pictures will look like with him in the middle. Praying for him as I cut and glue. Praying for his relationship with his brothers, and with his sister. Praying that Adam and I would be the mother and father that he needs, that we would be a reflection of God's love for him.

So, little A, you may or may not get anything out of this. But that's OK. This is for me, too.